My partner doesn't know about The Three Principles… can our relationship still work? YES!

By Natasha Swerdloff

Are you in a relationship where you’re the only one interested in The Three Principles? Do you wonder if the relationship can last, given that your partner doesn’t share your interest? If so, you’re not alone.

This happens to many people who find meaning and joy in this understanding and therefore want to share it with their partner or spouse. It can feel like a defeat or a rejection when the other person doesn’t listen eagerly or explore the idea on their own.

You may feel that the fact that you can’t share the same commitment to The Three Principles—which is important to you—makes the relationship less meaningful and successful. But can it really be true that the relationship is only good enough if you can both share that same level of commitment? The short answer is a resounding NO.

Throw away the checklist

We live in a time when there’s a checklist for almost everything—including love and relationships. But love isn’t an equation we have to solve. It isn’t a specific result we have to achieve, or a calculation that has to add up.

Love is a deep, intuitive sensation or feeling that cannot be grasped or understood by the intellect. It lives within us as a natural force, and at its deepest level, love is the recognition of our shared humanity. It is completely independent of tastes, interests, and spiritual preferences.

Wedon’thave to understand the world in the same way to love one another. Wedon’thave to share the same view of what it means to be human. The only condition for love is that we’rewillingto approach one another with openness and kindness—even if we don’t always succeed.

Take a step back from demands and thoughts

A recurring theme in the challenges we face in our relationships is the desire to change the other person. This desire can seem particularly important when we ourselves have noticed something that we perceive as fundamental to our existence.

The desire for the other person to see the world the same way we do can easily create distance and misunderstandings. In disagreements, discussions, and conflicts, we may end up taking our own thoughts about the other person’s lack of insight very seriously.

When we realize that our experience of the relationship is created from within through our own thoughts—and not by our partner’s behavior or attitudes—we open ourselves up to seeing something new. We understand that our thinking also shapes our experience of the other person. From there, we can take a step back and relate to our boyfriend, husband, or wife from a calmer and more loving place.

Love does not depend on whether we are on the same “journey” or speak the same “language.” Love resides in the silence behind our thoughts, not in the conversations about them. It resides in the deep connection between us that we feel in the pauses between words and meanings.