Written by Natasha Swerdloff
We all experience suffering. It’s part of being human. We go through periods of grief, frustration, anxiety, or pain, and when we do, we might ask ourselves: “Why is this happening to me? How can I make it stop?”
One way to understand suffering is to think of the sky and imagine that it is covered by dark clouds. Everything is gray and impenetrable. But then a gap opens up, and we catch a glimpse of the blue sky behind it. At first, we might think it’s a blue cloud peeking out from among the gray ones, but if we keep looking, we discover something important: The blue sky has been there all along. It wasn’t gone—just hidden behind the clouds.
That’s how happiness and suffering work. To us, they seem to be opposites: Sometimes we feel good—the sky is blue and clear. Other times we feel bad—gray clouds fill the entire horizon. But happiness and well-being are not fleeting. They are our natural state, which is always present behind suffering. Suffering is like a blanket of clouds that comes and goes, but never replaces the blue sky. Deep down, we are always whole, complete, and at peace—just like the open sky.
Calm After the Storm
So why do we suffer? Why do these clouds arise? They do so when we become caught up in worry, fear, and the feeling that something is missing. When we believe that we need something outside ourselves—more success, love, or recognition—to be happy again.
Many of us spend our entire lives searching for happiness. We chase after money, relationships, and success—hoping to finally feel complete. But no matter what we acquire or achieve, the feeling never lasts. Because we’re looking in the wrong place. True happiness isn’t found outside of ourselves; it lives within us.
Suffering arises only when we forget this, but the good news is that, just like clouds, suffering is not permanent. The sky doesn’t need to “do” anything to become clear and cloudless. The clouds eventually disappear on their own. When we stop letting ourselves be consumed by worry and negative thoughts, they evaporate, and we feel the gentle sense of happiness that is always within us.
An easier life, therefore, isn’t about avoiding challenges. It’s about knowing that no matter what happens, the blue sky still awaits beyond. We don’t need to fight the clouds; we just need to remember that theyaren’tus. When we know that, we feel a sense of calm that is independent of the changing weather.
How do we stop suffering?
If suffering is merely clouds passing across an unchanging sky, how do we find our way back to the blue sky? We do so every time we realize where our suffering comes from. For we never suffer because of what happens in our lives, but because of our thoughts about what happens.
For example, if we believe thoughts that tell us we’re not good enough or that something important is missing from our lives, we’ll experience suffering. If we see that these thoughts are merely passing clouds and not truths, we don’t need to take them so seriously. We’re free to experience the blue sky behind them.
It’s so easy for us to believe in these vivid thoughts and take them at face value. But thoughts are just thoughts—they come and go like clouds in the sky. When we realize that we don’t have to believe them, they—and the suffering they cause—lose their hold on us.
Imagine sitting by a river and watching leaves float by. Some are beautiful and light; others are dark and heavy. You don’t have to grab any of them; you can simply let them pass. Thoughts work the same way. We don’t need to hold on to the dark and painful ones. We don’t need to believe them or let them define us. When we stop grabbing and holding onto every gloomy leaf, we naturally return to lightness and peace.
That was exactly the discovery Sydney Banks made. He saw that our experience does not come from external events, but from what we think about them. The moment we realize this, we begin to awaken from suffering. We understand that we don’t need to struggle against life, because it is not life itself, but ourthoughtsabout life that cause us to suffer.
If we stop feeding the thoughts that cause suffering, we don’t need to “do” anything to feel better. Just as the sky doesn’t need to clear away the clouds, we don’t need to fight against our thoughts. Our natural state—peace, joy, lightness—lives within us. We just need to remind ourselves that the blue sky lies right behind the cloud cover. Just as it is the nature of clouds to arise and disappear, so too is it the nature of thoughts to arise and disappear all on their own. Freedom, then, comes from knowing the nature of thought and discovering that our essence behind the thoughts is what is always present.
